Confession: I haven’t been producing a lot of art lately. But I’ve been thinking about producing a lot of art lately... and I’d like to receive some credit for that. I spend a lot of time (too much time?) letting my mind wander in and out of nonsensical daydreams about what I want my art to look like. I wish I had it all figured out by now, but I don’t. These nonsensical moments are filled with fleeting visions of lines, shapes, figures, and colors. They somehow all fit together as ununderstood ideas of what I think my paintings will looks like, but I can never grasp onto them long enough to make sense of it all.
I eagerly look forward to heading into my studio in hopes to sherlock home’s the heck out of those wispy ideas and put them onto a canvas. However, the result is inevitably frustrating and consistent. I couldn’t recreate those ideas, the paint was stubborn and uncooperative, and I wasn’t able to catch and recreate my dream.
I’ve been frustrated about that. It’s like when you wake in the morning and try to explain that fuzzy dream to your spouse and the description is sitting right on the tip of your morning breath tongue but you can’t spill it out. I think the dream took place in our home, but it wasn’t really our home, and I think you were there, but you weren’t really you.... oh nevermind, I can’t remember.
I’m determined to paint enough bad paintings that eventually I’ll be able to catch this dream and make sense of it. And I assume it will feel just as rewarding as the moment you remember last night’s dream and can describe it from beginning to end with perfect detail. Ohhh yes, I was in my house, being chased by Ursula, and my house was filled with water, and I was a mermaid, and my mom was vaccumming in a bubble and my brothers were playing with legos, and I was swimming around the house over and over again while Ursula chased me but nobody noticed to help me.*
>> *A nonfictional account of a recurring fictional dream of an anxious 7 year old (me).
>> Want your own vinyl chalkboard thought bubble?
>> Stop by The Little Lovebirds blog to read a guest post I wrote about vacationing and mushy stuff.
Thinking is good:) (Your hair is getting long and you look very pretty.) Thinking will eventually turn into some wonderful piece of art, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteI love this. I love this so, so much. There's a Kanye West lyric (I know--what in the what--but I still love him) that says, "I've got treasures in my own mind, but couldn't open up my own vaults." I think about that a lot with art and different artists that I am close to and get to see them struggle, I guess, with this. It's fascinating to me.
ReplyDeleteCool lyrics! It's fascinating to me too, thanks Anna.
ReplyDeletelove this. I have some of the same feelings sometimes where I can't fully get the vision out of my mind. I'm sure with all of your dedication you will get there!
ReplyDeleteits the thought that counts right?!
ReplyDeleteGirl, I hear you. My mind is much quicker and more clever than my working self when I'm in the studio. I think I have all the time in the world to produce perfect etchings and complete all the work I have wandering around up there. Then I get to the studio and take a couple miss-prints and try to fight my way back to pulling one good print or finishing one good plate. And you are absolutely right. We will make enough bad paintings/prints/etc until what we expect from ourselves in our wandering thoughts match the work we have to show.
ReplyDeleteSmiles!
ReplyDelete